Know Thy Family

I can't get that stupid song by Sonny and Cher out of my head - "I Got You Babe". It came up on my iPod's shuffle setting and I've been humming the chorus all afternoon. God, what a terrible song.

But I've been trying to think of a blog post that relates to social justice in my book - I usually post blog entires a few days before, always eager to type up a new idea. But this week, I was a bit stuck when faced with this assignment. But when that Sonny and Cher song played, it all sort of came to me.

The song is basically about these lovers who are like "we're sort of poor, and people are telling us that we're too young to love each other, but we're happy because we have one another". Aw, so cute. But this made me think of the main theme of Wuthering Heights - love. And the importance of it. We've just been introduced to Isabella Linton and Heathcliff's son, Linton - a sallow, sickly, spoiled creature who sits in his furred cloak by the fire all day, wallowing in his own self pity. His mother, Isabella, has never mentioned Heathcliff to Linton because they're not together anymore. But Isabella dies, and Linton has no place to go but to his stranger of a father, Heathcliff, who he's quite afraid of.

This is definitely not the first time we've seen issues like these in novels and stories, but I am always appalled at them whenever a story mentions it. I can barely comprehend what it must be like to never know your father or mother, and then to suddenly meet them without any warning. To me, it is absolute cruelty for a parent to hide a child's relations from them. A relation is more important than many people think - especially someone as close to you as a mother or father. To keep a child away from that is to deprive them of the knowledge of where they came from and who they came from and what qualities have been passed down from father or mother to son or daughter.

A parent's love is like none other - it cannot be duplicated, forged, or found anywhere else besides its inhabitance in the heart of a mother or father. No matter how much you try to separate father and son, there will forever be a link between the two souls that won't break, because this child is a part of you. It's disturbing to think of Linton's situation with Healthcliff - he must have been absolutely appalled to find out that this gruff, vulgar man was his father. If only he had been raised with Healthcliff, Linton would not have to suffer the metal torment instilled upon him by the shock of meeting his father for the first time.

Isabella has hidden Heathcliff's identity because she is disgusted by his behavior and ashamed of the fact that she created a child with him. That's understandable, but I don't think she's making any attempt to see the situation from Linton's point of view. I think that the entire trio of characters would all be much better off if they had all known each other from the start - for several reasons. Heathcliff would have raised the child in a better way, and kept it from turning into a pale, slimy weakling as Isabella has done. Little Linton would not have the surprise of such a man as his father, and can you just imagine the mental state the poor child must be in? He's so weak already.

In short, I believe that one of the big social issues in this story is the separation of child and parent. It can be incredibly upsetting and troubling for both the son and the father, or daughter and mother, to meet their child which they have never even seen before. As Sonny and Cher express in their song, love is utterly important and extremely powerful. Especially the love of a parent. It's a bond that will never break and must not be disguised. To deprive a child of the knowledge of their family is the cruelest form of torture, and can be such a harrowing experience to a family as time goes one.

Know your parents.

dad has a blog?

I didn't even know he knew how to work a computer. Just kidding, but really, my dad has never been particularly tech-savvy. I believe it was my mother who suggested the revolutionary notion to my father, and I knew he had been reluctant to do it for a while. But he's finally started, and regularly updating it - that is, when under the watchful eye of Mother Futterman.

My dad is a freelance music writer - mostly for jazz. He used to work full time for Barnes and Noble.com, until he got laid off one or two years ago. Since then, my mother has been attempting to "put him out there" in order for magazines and up-and-coming musicians to find him on the internet. It was only until recently that I ventured to check out his blog, "Can You Tell Me A Story?". I had asked him why it was called this and he said it had something to do with jazz, and that I would have to read his blog to know. Frankly, I had no interest in reading about a genre that I had next to no interest about. But this week, I skimmed over his posts and found that he truly was a great bloggist.

But for some reason I found it slightly embarrassing to read his writing...he sounded different on the internet. Not bad or anything...just more eloquent, and he sounded so much more learned in the subject of music. I felt almost like I was violating his diary, and i quickly logged out.

I'm proud of my father for adapting to the world of bloggists so quickly. I love that he is getting exited about his blog and putting his talent out there. But I'm apprehensive about seeing the bloggy side of him. Blogs give us this whole new freedom to adopt a new voice and a new personality, and to me, that freedom is frightening. I wonder if I scare people on my blog.

http://canyoutellmeastory.blogspot.com/

Talk to Your Analyst - Isn't That What They're Paid For?

Lately I've been revisiting some of my favorite artists and their best albums. On this reminiscent mission, I've stumbled upon disc one of a Talking Heads Greatest Hits Album, strangely titled Sand in the Vaseline. I listened to one of my favorite songs on that record - No Compassion, originally on the Talking Head's debut album, Talking Heads: 77. This is one of the many reasons why I love David Byrne - he's brutally honest and can come off to some people as just plain rude in many of his songs. Take these lyrics - "Why are you in love with your problems? I think you take it a little to far. It's not so cool to have so many problems, but don't expect me to explain your indecision. Talk to your analyst - isn't that what they're paid for? You walk, you talk, you still function like you used to! It's not a question of your personality or style! Be a little more selfish, it might do you some good!" I think everyone can relate to David Byrne's rant against always having to care about everyone else's problems. In fact, he's not being rude at all. "In a world where people have problems, in this world, where decisions are a way of life, other people's problems, they overwhelm my mind, they say compassion is a virtue - but I don't have the time." We're all busy, and it sort of stinks to have to care about other people sometimes. I don't always have the time to think about other people's problems, but when I do, it really stresses me out. This song makes me laugh every time I hear it, but mostly because you really wouldn't expect those kind of lyrics in any kind of song.

Talking Heads are one of the most influential rock groups of the late seventies and early eighties, and I think this song really exemplifies that talent that the group possesses. David Byrne's unique voice that doesn't have much range gives all the songs a totally different meaning. The strange sounds stimulated by electric guitars and songs about unexpected topics such as which city they should live in or dancey songs about burning houses make them a group like no other. Revisiting their greatest hits made me realize all over again how great they were.

The Mystery of the Mysterious Mystery Man. (Ben, please don't make fun of me)

So I went to a tour of Brooklyn Tech the other day. I arrived a bit late, and the first thing that I noticed upon entering the auditorium was not the 3000 seats, nor the 100-foot stage...no, the first thing I noticed was a gorgeous, tall boy standing at the front of the immense room. His dark, unruly hair and mysterious features made me think one thing - this is Heathcliff. Heathcliff, my one and only literary love, has been reincarnated and sent back to me in the form of a cute adolescent boy! *cue cliched teenage squeals* EEEEE!!!!

But this story isn't exactly the point of this post. After I left the building and went to Junior's to eat some cheesecake, I was filled with this strange sense of slight melancholy, but mostly confusion. Mulling over a cup of coffee and vanilla cheesecake, I asked myself the same questions again and again - why was I attracted to that boy? Why are we, as women, captivated by the dark and mysterious male figure? Why are we repelled by the slightly feminine, wimpy, blond men, like Edgar Linton? Why am I so in love with Heathcliff, a cruel and hard character?

For me (I'm not sure about anyone else), it's exciting to take risks with the people you love. To delve into the enigma of the mystery man is to venture into a dark cave, hoping to find something valuable. Isabella was drawn to Heathcliff because of his frighteningly good looks. What she found when she married him was a cold and slightly selfish man who did not know how to be affectionate towards someone he really disliked. I believe that he married Isabella not only on impulse, but to test her mental strength and see if she could really handle his equivocal disposition. Isabella didn't know what she was getting into. She was fascinated by Heathcliff and wanted to experience the dangers of his love. She, being so young and foolish, didn't know what love was. Well, she learned the hard way. Hah. That's what you get, wimp.

Cathy is in love with Heathcliff, obviously, because she knows him. Heathcliff has been frowned upon his entire young life, and viewed as a "ragamuffin" and a "gypsy". Only Catherine, who has been exposed to his personality and character for much of her life, has a deep sympathy and understanding towards him, although she may smother it in the company of more prestigious figures, such as the Lintons. But she finally, much too late in the book, discovers that she and Heathcliff share an amazing bond that will never break. They have faced the same hardships, laughed at and taunted the same people, and know each other's secrets. Cathy has realized that she, too, possesses a dark side like Heathcliff's. She disguises it for the most part, but it will never go away. This is how she realizes she loves Heathcliff. Isabella does not possess a dark side because she doesn't have a particularly dark past. Heathcliff and Catherine share the same past, which means they possess similar shades of black in their internal color spectrum.

I believe that women are attracted to mysterious men because their presence reminds women that they themselves do indeed have a dark side. This realization is liberating because we as females usually like to hide this more dismal side, as Cathy does, in order to come off as charming and cheerful towards the people we are attracted to. The Mysterious Mystery Man gives us no feelings to hide. We don't need to disguise our sadness or anger or vengefulness in front of them because they understand that. People like Edgar Linton seem just too innocent. We don't want to wear masks in front of the people we love.

By the way, it turns out that the cute Heathcliff-esque kid at Brooklyn Tech was in NO WAY mysterious or Heathcliffy, besides in his looks. He was President of the student body or something, and a total dork. *sigh*. So much for a reincarnation of my book crush.

my mouth's a burning pit of agony.

i got some little grape flavored waxy dots covering my sharp upper teeth. take them off and the inside of my lips become swollen and inflamed. I can barely eat-biting into anything remotely hard feels like someone's taking a white-hot poker and jamming it into my delicate, precious gums. yes. it's true.

eating, the one reason why i have to slightest amount of motivation in the morning to wake up, has now become the most unpleasant experience imaginable. and you know what? they don't sell damn pudding cups at the deli. i feel like an old lady who can't never get what she wants. that's bad, by the way.

braces. they've ventured up from the festering armpits of hell and have been applied to my mandibles by devilish orthodontic minions. it hurts to talk or smile or open my mouth. and they're blue. blue, small, painful, cold and metallic. like my heart. and my only consolation is listening to loud funk music from the seventies. for the love of god, why don't i just move to england where bad teeth are smiled (crookedly) upon and there's no such thing as an orthodontist? i think i will. good bye, incredibly judgmental america, i'm leaving you alone to enjoy your dental monstrosities without me. enjoy!

let me into your window!

During my month-long stay at summer camp, I happened to hear a song at a karaoke party that was like none other I had heard before - "Wuthering Heights" by Kate Bush, from the album "The Kick Inside". The song is painfully corny and ridiculous, with an even more goofy music video. Nonetheless, I immediately fell in love with the singer, prancing around in a white billowy dress, and I loved the song even more. That's the main reason why I was so compelled to read Emily Brontë's classic, which the song was named after. I wanted to find out what had driven Kate Bush to write such an unexpected song, and how the lyrics corresponded to the actual book. Before I go any further, though, here's the lyrics so you can get better acquainted with the song:

Out on the wiley, windy moors
We'd roll and fall in green
You had a temper, like my jealousy
Too hot, too greedy
How could you leave me?
When I needed to possess you?
I hated you, I loved you too

Bad dreams in the night
They told me I was going to lose the fight
Leave behind my wuthering, wuthering
Wuthering Heights

(Chorus) Heathcliff, its me, Cathy come home
I'm so cold, let me in-a-your window

Oh it gets dark, it gets lonely
On the other side from you
I pine alot, I find the lot
Falls through without you
I'm coming back love, cruel Heathcliff
My one dream, my only master

Too long I roam in the night
I'm coming back to his side to put it right
I'm coming home to wuthering, wuthering,
Wuthering Heights

(Chorus)
Oh let me have it, let me grab your soul away
Oh let me have it, let me grab your soul away
You know it's me, Cathy
(Chorus)

Well, that certainly is an interesting song. I'm only half done with the book, but I have a pretty good idea of which parts of the book Kate is referring to. She touches on the major parts of the story, from Catherine's jealousy of Heathcliff's kissing Isabella, to her never-ending love for him, even if she is married. It mentions Heathcliff and Cathy's childhood friendship at the beginning, and she calls him "cruel Heathcliff" at one point in the song, which is how Catherine sometimes refers to him in the book. This makes me wonder why there aren't any more songs about such passionate love stories.

To me, love stories are perfect for putting music to. I feel that music is so much easier to connect to than a complex novel - for me, at least. I have a passion for music, and this song made me appreciate the art of song writing even more. Songs are such a good way of communicating difficult opinions or ideas to people. Everyone can listen to a song and appreciate it tune, and some people can truly understand its lyrics as well, which is so important since many songs try to express a deeper message or meaning. I love how Kate Bush sums up the main ideas of the story in a simple song.

I also think that it's important to express different aspects of culture in songs. Kate Bush does a wonderful job of introducing this wonderful book to a large audience in a way that gives them the context of the story and displays the passion of the book. I don't know about the other listeners, but this song made me want to read the story.

Kate Bush is obviously incredibly ambitious and talented artist. She was smart to write a love song based on a book. Maybe she didn't have a love story of her own to share in a song, so she took someone else's. That what makes the song so unique.

see the music video here...

borges! the giver! conexión? quizá!

I've been doing some on-and-off reading of a collection of short fiction stories by Jorge Luis Borges, an Argentine writer who wrote this particular compilation of fictions from the mid forties to the early eighties. Today, during project real, I happened to stumble upon a very short tale (about two pages long) called "The Mirror of Ink". It's about a sorcerer who is in the captivity of a cruel governor of Sudan, Yakub the Afflicted, and attempts to let the governor spare his life by showing him magic tricks. The sorcerer shows the governor an elaborate display in which he pours a pool of ink into the hand of the Afflicted one, and gives him the ability to see anything he wishes reflected in the "mirror of ink" (title! yes! i know!). First, the governor asks to see a wild horse. however, after he witnesses the creature's beauty, he wants to see the whole world and all the wonders of it. This is where i began to connect this story to the giver. remember when jonas experiences his first memory of sledding? he wants to see so much more...but he doesn't know what he's getting himself into. hm.

anyway. back to the story. eager to please his cruel master, the sorcerer shows him all the wonders of the world:

"Thus day by day did he make demands upon my skill, and thus day by day did i show him the appearances of this world. That dead man who i abominate held within his hand all that dead men have seen and all that living men see: the cities, climes, and kingdoms into which this world is divided, the hidden treasures of its center, the ships that sail its seas, its instruments of war and music and surgery, its graceful women, its fixed stars and planets, the colors taken up by the infidel to paint his abominable images...he beheld these things impossible to describe, such as streets illuminated by gaslight and such as the whale that dies when it hears man's voice. Once he commanded me to show him the city men call Europe. I showed him the grandest of its streets and i believe that it was in that rushing flood of men, all dressed in black and many wearing spectacles, that he saw for the first time the Masked One..."

(by the way, the "Masked One" refers to a short story that appears earlier in the book, called "Hakim, the Masked Dyer of Merv". the story is about a veiled man who claims he is a prophet, and that viewing his face will make anyone blind because he was so radiant. he gains many followers and worshippers, but at the end of the story, the people who never believed him to be a saint force him to remove his mask and discover him to be a hideous creature, face mutilated with leprosy. they kill him. he is possibly, according to my theories, a symbol for several things, including vanity, fraud, false hopes...among other things.)

Ok, is anyone seeing a connection to Lois Lowry's The Giver? i am. the cruel governor is very much like jonas - curious, ignorant and oblivious, eager to learn yet not understanding the consequences. the sorcerer is similar to the giver - he has no choice but to satisfy the "receiver" by giving him all the memories possible - even if they're painful.

Which brings me to the second part of the Borges tale - when the governor asks to see images like death - and worse - it turns out that what's keeping the afflicted one constantly gazing into the mirror of ink (title! again!) is his desire to have the masked man that has been constantly appearing in the incantations revealed, then killed. The sorcerer pleads and begs the governor to change his mind, because viewing the masked one's face is a sin, and there would surely be no good to come out of it...yet the afflicted one insists, and the sorcerer has no choice but to oblige.

When the governor finally views the image of the unmasked man, he is shocked and horrified to find that the veiled man possesses the same face as he, the governor. He is hypnotized to the mirror, addicted to its fantastic images, yet now he wishes he could back away and take his eyes off. but he can't. when the sword is finally raised to the masked man's neck, as the governor had wished, and he is killed, the governor collapses, dead as well.

Why does this remind me of the giver so much? there are clearly some HUGE connections in these two texts. i happen to find it fascinating that Borges's tale is told from the giver's point of view as opposed to the receiver's. although jonas does not die at the end of the story due to the memories, he does suffer some severe consequences, and also almost faces death. this short story has given me a whole new perspective on Lois Lowry's book. i find these connections amazing, and slightly disturbing, but fascinating nonetheless. cool.

if you have been tempted to read the entire story of "the mirror of ink", you should. it's a beautifully written piece that is well worth the time taken to read it.

wow. sorry. sudden urge to post this.

alright, so i know that it's sort of really, really late for me to be getting into this song, and yes, i know, this is the song by radiohead that EVERYONE knows, but i just cannot stop listening to radiohead's masterpiece of music, "creep".

every time i press the replay button on itunes and thom yorke starts crooning these twisted lyrics into my ears...i feel like i'm going to cry. i don't know...it must be the beautiful, horribly bittersweet chords mixed with the brutally honest lyrics, but there is something about this song that makes me feel like i have to roll myself into a ball and swallow myself and lie in darkness. there's some sick pleasure in listening to this song. i feel the singer's pain as i hear the lyrics. i think a truly great song can do this. i can connect so deeply to this song. i know what i'm writing doesn't sound very deep...but i just can't convey my feelings for this song. i fall in love with thom yorke every single time i hear it.

listen and watch, please. beautiful.

those sick lies contain some truth.

i just finished the giver yesterday and i was totally blown away. the book is about a "utopian" society, even though everybody knows that utopian societies always turn out to be dystopian, so i guess the book is set in a dystopian society. anyway. no one can see color, no one has feelings, and so on. everything is "perfectly organized". Every year, at a special ceremony, the twelve year olds in the community are given assignments, which are the jobs they will hold for their entire lives until they become elders. our main character, jonas, is assigned the incredibly important job of "receiver of memories", in which he must receive memories of color, feelings, etcetera, etcetera...basically, the things that no one else in the community, besides the giver of memories, knows. Jonas is very scared at first, especially because it is such an honored job, and he was told that there would be physical pain involved. when jonas receives the memories, he is shocked at the wonderful colors and other nice memories that no one else gets to experience, and begins to feel rebellious and angry towards the community and how they hold everyone back from both pain and pleasure.

right, so everyone's reading the giver and everyone's getting all weepy-weepy and saying to themselves, oh no, why they killin' babies yo? and yes, there's no doubt that what they are doing is absolutely, totally sick and wrong, but don't you think they might have reasons for isolating the community and keeping them "totally safe"?

my group started talking today about this issue, and the question of why the community is depriving everyone of all the memories. we said that if you wanted to take away pain, you had to take away pleasure, because the two things go hand in hand. if you want to take away heartbreak and sadness, you have to take away love. i don't think jonas really understands how hard it is to find control. the leaders of the community just make it easier by taking away every feeling. the citizens don't know what they're missing because they've never seen or heard of any of the wonderful (or horrendous) things that jonas has seen.

would a world of complete and utter oblivion just be better? would it be better to not have feelings, or things to trouble you, or complete fairness? the citizens of the community seem to think so.

and think about what jonas finds when he escapes-wilderness, complete lack of food, cold, and no shelter. this is exactly what the community was keeping him from! what's good about starvation? many people would argue that you need to have memories and knowledge of fear, and courage, and color, but why? in a perfect world, you'll never be faced with anything dangerous. why do you need color to survive? why do you need art, or music? these people don't care about adding excitement or interest to their lives. all they care about is eating, and working, and sleeping, and staying alive. all those things are taken care of.

what's the point of living, though, if you have no interests? isn't the point of life to experience many different things, to impact other peoples' lives in a dramatic, important way? the people in this "perfect world" are living utterly pointless lives. they're living in a box, totally closed off from the entire world. why do they live anyway? they are useless beings who shove all of their issues and memories and strong desires that could "cause problems" on this one poor, decrepit old man who can barely contain them without having extreme mental breakdowns. it's unfair to dump all your problems on one person, or group of people, at that.

the point of living is to experience pain, and experience problems, and experience the hardships of life. the point of life is to experience every single thing the world has to offer, otherwise, why would we be living on earth anyway? life means to experience joy and love and even the tiniest things like color. everything life throws at you, you've got to absorb, take in, and simply have that experience.

the characters in the giver are being controlled like robots, living pointless, stupid lives, and wasting their time on earth. they aren't experiencing life, and the world, and the wonders and pains of it all. they are not living, and only jonas and the giver have the power to end it all. the citizens know that. they just don't want to live because they're scared of life.